The Hidden Cost of Being the Team Hero
Dev Leader Weekly 96
TL; DR:
Hero motivation comes from a good place
Team heroes often create bottlenecks
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The Hidden Cost of Being the Team Hero
Every team has a go-to person.
You know the one.
Who never drops the ball, no matter how full their plate is.
The person who jumps in when production is on fire.
Who’s there on Slack at all hours.
Who reviews PRs lightning-fast.
You might be that person right now.
And for a while, it feels like the right thing to do.
You’re helping. You’re proving your value.
You’re keeping things running when no one else can.
But here’s the problem:
Being the team hero doesn’t scale. And worse -- it might be hurting your team more than it helps.
How Team Heroes Emerge
Now I know that made framing of heroes like a bad thing but... Team heroes step up because they care.
A lot.
They’ve built deep knowledge.
They want to keep the quality high.
They’re trying to protect the team from failure or friction.
But over time, this creates an imbalance. Instead of empowering others, the team hero becomes a safety net--one that everyone quietly starts depending on.
And when that happens, you get:
Decision paralysis: People wait for the hero’s opinion before moving forward.
Growth bottlenecks: Others avoid owning hard problems because the hero always will.
Burnout: The hero takes on too much, too often, and becomes irreplaceable.
Being reliable and competent is not the issue. The issue is what happens when you’re too reliable for too long.
A Personal Reflection
I’ve fallen into this trap myself.
Earlier in my career, I prided myself on being the one who could “just get it done.”
Critical bug? On it.
Complicated feature? Leave it to me.
Other team needs help? Let me jump into it.
Now as an engineering manager earlier on in my career, there was a lot of learning through a lot of confusing times. But as I continued to focus more on engineering leadership instead of my time being spent directly contributing code, I had to face an uncomfortable truth:
My actions weren’t creating space for others to step up. I was reinforcing a dynamic where the team expected me to carry the hard stuff. Not because they were incapable. Because I didn’t give them the chance to show otherwise.
But this really took me observing it in others to notice because I couldn't see it in myself initially. When coaching others acting like the hero, it was more and more obvious. They were trying to help, but they were perpetuating the problem. I could help coach them through that.
Once I saw them taking action to step back and others step up, it became more obvious to me.
I need to take a step back too.
Five Practical Shifts to Escape Hero Mode
If this feels uncomfortably familiar, here are some practical steps I’ve learned to reset the balance.
1. Replace Rescuing with Coaching
When someone brings you a challenge, pause before jumping in.
Instead, try:
“What are you thinking of doing?”
“Where do you feel stuck?”
“What would you try if I wasn’t here?”
This models a learning mindset and builds decision-making muscle in others. I've had this framed as "be lazy", because you need to practice letting other people answer and solve problems.
2. Pair Instead of Owning Solo
If something urgent needs attention and you’re tempted to take it on yourself, invite someone to pair with you.
Use it as a teaching moment:
Narrate your thinking
Ask them to lead parts so they are hands on
Let them ask “why” behind each step so that they can learn
Over time, they’ll build the confidence and pattern recognition to take it on themselves.
3. Write Things Down as You Go
If people keep asking you for help on the same things-- That’s not a people problem. It’s a documentation opportunity.
You don’t need polished wikis or Notion databases. Even a rough internal guide or “quick dump” in Teams/Slack goes a long way.
Documenting is how you unlock future time. It turns knowledge into leverage.
4. Celebrate When Others Step Up (Even If It’s Messy)
When someone takes ownership, especially if it’s new for them, acknowledge it publicly (if that's something they're comfortable with)
“Really appreciated the way Jim Bob handled that root cause write-up today. They asked the right questions and kept calm under pressure.”
Even if it wasn’t perfect, reinforce the behavior you want more of. It builds confidence and encourages others to stretch beyond their comfort zone. Draw attention to the behavior you want to see emulated and others will start to notice it.
5. Say “No” With Purpose and Support
You don’t need to say yes to everything just because you can do it.
Try:
“I’d love to help, but I think this is a great growth opportunity for you. I’ll support you in the background if you need anything.”
You’re not abandoning them--you’re giving them the stage and the safety net.
That’s leadership. That's delegation with support. That's scaling.
A Better Goal Than Being The Hero
We all want to feel needed. We want to be the one others trust and turn to.
But the real mark of seniority isn’t in how often you save the day. It’s in how often the team succeeds without you needing to. It feels backwards, but you're demonstrating success by leading when you get team members to a place where they don't rely on you.
Here’s a challenge for you this week:
Spot one moment where you’d normally step in and don’t.
Instead, ask questions, offer context, or just wait.
Watch what happens.
Let's see if you can help scale the abilities on your team!
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As always, thanks so much for your support! I hope you enjoyed this issue, and I'll see you next week.
Nick “Dev Leader” Cosentino
social@devleader.ca
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